While you may be doing everything in your power to attract the opposite sex, it may surprise you to learn that some of your actions and behaviors can actually have the opposite effect. In fact, you may not even realize that you’re acting in a way that drives men away when all you’re really trying to do is draw them toward you. In order to take control of the situation and truly attract the right guys, avoid these 10 things and you’ll hopefully grab his attention rather than be left empty-handed.
Wearing a ton of makeup
You may think that loading up on foundation, concealer, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, and blush (to name a few) makes you look your most attractive, but it may surprise you to learn that piling on the makeup is not appealing to guys. In fact, a study in The Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology revealed that women tend to overestimate the amount of makeup that men find attractive, and as a result, many women end up applying way too much. In other words, you may choose to wear a lot of makeup because you think it draws men toward you, but in reality, it’s actually warding them off. With this in mind, it’s time to face the fact (so to speak) that less is truly more when it comes to makeup’s role in attraction, and it’s in your best interest to opt for a natural look as opposed to caking it on for the guy you’re sweet on.
Being a gossip
It might seem fun to share the latest rumors, scandals, and stories involving the lives of your friends, family, and coworkers with a guy, but it might surprise you to learn that being a gossip is a major turn off. While your intentions may be to try to open the lines of communication with him and keep him in the loop, it’s important to recognize that giving him the lowdown on other’s sordid deeds actually makes you come across as having low self-esteem. In fact, many people with a poor self-image rely on gossip as a way to make themselves feel better about their own lives, and they choose to talk about the latest failures and scandalous behaviors of others as a way to give themselves a boost. If you’re looking to attract men, you should keep in mind that guys are drawn to women who are confident, value themselves, and don’t put others down as a way to lift themselves up. So the next time you’re dying to dish to him about all of your friend’s dirty laundry, you should choose to clean up your act instead.
Being excessively confident
While having high self-esteem is a quality that men find highly attractive in women, it’s important to understand that there’s a fine line between being confident and being conceited. And while you should definitely believe in yourself, be proud of your accomplishments, and be happy about what you have to offer, you should also keep in mind that showing off is a major turn off. Specifically, research has shown that people who boast about themselves don’t even recognize the full extent of the negative response they receive from others, as discussed in Psychological Science. Although you may assume that your self-proclaimed awesomeness is attracting men, having a huge ego and acting like a narcissist are actually huge mistakes. Alternatively, you should opt for humility and be secure enough in yourself that you don’t have to rely on arrogance to get a gent, as the right man won’t need you to constantly reinforce just how amazing you truly are — he’ll see it on his own.
Bad-mouthing your ex
You may think that bad-mouthing your ex around a new guy is a good decision, but this kind of negative behavior actually makes you look bad instead. While your intentions may be to show a guy how much you’re over your last beau and that he has nothing to worry about when it comes to living up to the men you’ve been with previously, constantly criticizing your ex isn’t attractive. After all, not only does your need to put down your ex make you come across as spiteful and juvenile, but your unrelenting fixation on your ex makes it seem as though you’re still harboring feelings for him. Further, bad-mouthing your ex also shows any potential love interest that he could be next when it comes to being the subject of your hateful words. So rather than talking smack about your ex and venting about all the ways he wronged you, leave the past in the past so you can attract Mr. Right in the future.
When it comes to attracting men, it’s important to recognize that men want to feel as though they’re needed. Specifically, men want to know that they add value to your life and that they’re not superfluous, expendable, or disposable. However, many women mistakenly interpret a man’s desire to feel needed by becoming overly needy, jealous, and desperate to spend every waking moment with him — all of which are anything but appealing behaviors to guys. So if you’re someone who tends to become clingy and emotionally dependent on a man because you think it’ll bring him closer and inspire him to stick around, know that you’re actually just pushing him away. Moreover, men want to know that they complement your life as opposed to being the center of your universe on which your entire happiness level and sense of self-worth depend. Fortunately, there are steps you can take right now to break your cycle of neediness when it comes to men, such as putting an end to negative self-talk, getting out of your comfort zone, and learning how to resolve issues on your own.