Meet Witty Sally, Relationship cum Marriage Counselor
Living couples’ live on campus without any form of commitment often ends once you cross the school gate…Witty Sally
Sally Chukwudumebi Anyadike known as Witty Sally is a relationship cum marriage counselor, an admirable lady with a great sense of humour, from Delta State. She joggles her career, other extra activities and home which make her very homely.
Sally who is a combination of beauty and intellect was born and bred in Lagos, attended Vivian Fowler Memorial College for Girls and Our Lady of Apostle Secondary School, had her university education at the Lagos State University where She studied Industrial Relations and Personnel Management. She is currently running a Masters Programme in Human Resources Management.
In this interview with Acada Magazine, she speaks about her interest to venture into relationship and marriage counseling blogging (www.wittysally.com) which was stirred up from her background in the area of interpersonal human relationship skills, amongst other crucial relationship issues.
Witty Sally is married to a wonderful man of many years, and they are blessed with kids.
Out of all of the many challenges young adults are faced with, why did you choose to talk about relationship?
Relationship, because if you look around you will see most of the things that happened in abusive homes, abusive marriages, even husband are been abused now because of frustration, though even the society is not even helping matters as such and from experienced, have been married going to 10 years now, from my own point of view, from what I have seen, from what I have been exposed to, this is the pertinent aspect of life which actually helps. The truth is, if your marriage is peaceful, your work environment will be peaceful; because when you wake up in the morning it’s your husband or wife you see, it’s your partner you see, and whatever reaction you get in your home, you get the turnover in your work environment and in your life generally, that’s why I picked the aspect of relationship and marriage to talk about.
Why did you choose blogging as a means to communicating your ideas, rather than using seminars and the likes?
The society we live in, everything is modernized now, everyone is going into computer, everybody is now on the internet, and everyone has all sort of networks you know. And it’s not as if I don’t do some sorts of counseling because in my church, I’m in the Marriage Counseling department. I have friends older than me who come for marriage advice, so I started and I asked myself, what can I do more even after how long, how much advice you give to people, you still see that marriages are still crashing, but so sometimes when the information is out there, people can always reflect and go back and say Witty Sally said this, how can I handle this, Witty Sally said this, how can I relate to her and talk about it.
What do you think is the challenge of young people who rush into relationships and even marriages?
Well by the time I finish with the blog, you will see that there is a topic I have there about choices you have to make before you get into marriage and there is a topic I have there about decision making, most people go into marriages out of so many reasons; desperation is a key factor because everybody is getting married, I want to get asoebi, it happened to me too I finished school, I started going to one wedding to the other, and I sat down and I said what’s going on ooo, Sally as fine as you are, are you not going to get married? But I have to ask myself, what exactly do I want, and by the time you make a list, I always tell people my younger once who are yet to get married that, have a list, have like 20 things that you know you cannot do without in a man or a woman if your partners can do with 10, then you are good to go its very key, if you cannot see these things that attracted you initially before getting into it. For example you like a ‘lepa girl’ [slim girl] by the time she started giving birth, she will start swelling up she will start losing control over her cloths, not been conscious of many things, there are some things you know were the main attractions, you will see that, that is what you need to hold on to not because of what other people are doing. You decide on what you want, because the truth is that your decision determines your destiny.
What different is Witty Sally bringing to the table in the area of relationship?
Well like the name implies Witty, witty means someone full of intellect, humorous, a happy person and at the same time serious minded. You know what I mean, when it’s time to be serious, you are serious, when it’s time to play you play. Witty Sally is someone that there is no issue that you cannot discuss with her, do you get what I mean, like you are having a husband that steals your money or a wife that beats you up does all sorts of things. When it come play or to sex talk I can talk to Witty Sally, when it comes to monetary aspect I can talk to witty sally, when it comes to you investing money in the marriage, I can talk Witty Sally, that’s why I use witty sally, witty is playful and intelligent.
How did you get into marriage and relationship counseling?
I started with the mini counseling I was having, and my friends who look up to me for advice, I have worked in most sectors of life, and I still have a home, I still have my kids, how am I managing it, and my marriage standing, waxing strong, they have met my husband, they see my kids, and I sat down I see that some homes is just breaking, so I look that what’s is wrong? So I decided to create a platform where I can actually speak to people, to help others who actually don’t know me, that’s why I said let’s start this blog thin, Witty Sally is a very happy person, I am a very playful person, highly intelligent and beautiful.
Let’s talk about your growing up; what was your growing up like and how did the experience rubbed off on you?
I came out from a Christian background, my parents, six of us, am the second, the first girl, you can imagine a whole responsibility, I have younger one looking up to me as the first girl. Watching what decision is my sister going to take, who is she going to get married to, how is her home going to look like, is she going to be a career woman or a business person or loose person and the likes. I asked myself, this is the kind of boat I want to paddle, let me make up mind and I grow up as a good Christian, my parents are good Christians and I went to good schools, at least my parents tried putting us through good schools, even if we didn’t have food to eat.
How would you see your growing up robbed off on you relating it with who you are now?
Well like I said I have younger ones and because I have always grown up to be responsible for people, to be burden carrier so it has over shadowed my growing up, so have seen that in any environment I found myself, people always come to confide in me, asking questions and saying things like Sally, handle this, Sally do that and am like okay cool, this is fine! It has to be with my childhood, growing up with the siblings I found myself with, extended family, and now it came to my real life now the blogging thing.
What was it like during your university days, how will you describe your experience?
Really challenging, because at that points we were financially stagnant, as it is in my family, it was hard raising 6 kids as a parent, and raising daughters is no joke at all, where you need to put your eyes down, being the first girl they want to make sure I live an exemplary life for the younger girls. My university life was interesting and challenging, I gained my experience from there too, at that point I was the ‘go to’ person, a burden carrier, peoples’ relationships, on so many occasions I have to settle dispute between boyfriend/girlfriend, man and woman issues, husband and wife issues.
My school days were very okay, I was very close to my lecturers, and if you go to LASU they call me MTN because of my complexion.
As a marriage counselor, what is your take on young people doing ‘couples’ life’; a guy and a lady who are not married but living together on campus?
Well like I usually say, your decision determines your destiny, I have never judged anybody and I can never judge because I am not perfect. If somebody decides to take such a decision, I believe the person knows what is best for them and if he/she says okay I like this dude, I like this lady, I wanna live with her, then let’s see if we can work it out for marriage. I really can’t judge you but at some point you get tired of living together without a form of commitment, it’s really important to have some form of commitment to some extent, some people who also live together whose parent not even aware, at least let my mum or my dad be aware this is my partner not just abscond from my home or from school to be with a guy somewhere.
Must of such relationships never last beyond the school gate, as soon as you cross the gate, it’s over! Maybe after NYSC and a 2 or 3 years you keep in touch then you see that most times the things is over.
Let’s talk about your professional life, what are you doing before you set out as a counselor?
I left school some years ago, I have worked in the bank, have worked in the insurance sector as a professional marketer because of my inter-personal skills of being able to relate with people, I can actually get people to do things which they wouldn’t do ordinary and I presently work in a federal government sector. I have also worked in the oil and gas sector, before I get my present job.
What other information would you like people to know about relationship?
Relationship is good, marriage is beautiful that’s all I can say, when you know that you are married to your own, and then you know it’s beautiful. I have younger one who are yet to be married I tell them that its normal as a young guy/girl to have admirers.
But take your time, don’t be in a hurry, don’t rush in to rush out, I tell people about, ask yourself “am I ready to get married” It’s not all about ready financially, settling down emotionally, you need to be emotionally matured. I have an article on my blog, ‘emotionally matured’ up there you need to know if you are ready to tolerate this woman/man for 30years waking up on same bed seeing her face, hearing her voice every day, you know you have to take your time to ask some questions. Marriage is beautiful when you are married to the right man and right woman.
What other information do you want us to know about Witty Sally?
www.wittysally.com, is a relationship hub where you are free to tell me anything without being judged, I am here to listen to you, I can never judge you, am here to advice you without getting you bored, I can advice you on any relationship issue, discuss all matters of the heart with me.